One June 6th, 1944, Allied forces executed “Operation Overlord”; the largest amphibious military operation in the history of the world. They succeeded in breaching “Fortress Europe” and would go on to defeat Nazi Germany and liberate millions.
On June 6th, 2008 Jim, Gary and I initiated “Project Impala: 383 Swap”; the largest automobile project to ever be undertaken in my driveway. We were successful in making my somewhat quick ’95 Impala SS much faster and louder. Hotter, also, as I never got around to fixing the AC line that was ruined by a blistering header primary.
On June 6th, 2012 Jim and I, with help from Gary, were ready to embark on “Operation Judge on Tour”, a hastily planned and potentially hair-brained scheme to hook up with the last three dates of the Hot Rod Magazine 2012 “Power Tour” in a Ram Air IV powered 1969 Pontiac GTO Judge. We would succeed in motoring from Kansas City, MO to Arlington, TX via Miami and Stillwater, OK with several entertaining stops in between.
Let me make one thing clear. By no means am I attempting to make a legitimate comparison between our exploits and those of the heroes who put their lives on the line to kick some Nazi ass. It’s just that June 6th seems to be a recurring thing.
The Judge, Jim and I were as ready to hit the road on the morning of the 6th as we’d ever be. A fair amount of thought went into deciding which items we deemed necessary for the journey. Here is a list of those items:
- Small toolbox containing an optimistic selection of basic hand tools.
- Texas Ranger Citizen’s Band Radio with magnetic whip antenna.
- Sig Sauer .40 caliber pistol
- Two Benchmade pocket knives
- A few random bottles of water and Gatorade
- One package of Twizzlers
- Some luggage full of clothes, etc
- One iPad, iPod and iPhone
- One Bose portable, rechargeable speaker
- One Nikon digital SLR
- One Samsung Android phone which would one day soon be dropped into a toilet and ruined
- One five gallon bucket full of cleaning/detailing supplies which would barely be used on The Tour
- A fair amount of folding green
- Two pairs of sunglasses
- Full tank of gas
- Half pack of cigarettes
- One Driver (me)
- One Navigator/Mechanic (Jim)
- One dizzy broad to sit in the back seat and say wacky shit
- Octane boost (this would be remedied upon entering Oklahoma with it’s crappy gas)
- A large, free standing umbrella
- A cooler (this would also be remedied in Oklahoma)
- An 18-wheeler full of Coor’s, driven by wise, folksy type who talks to his dog a lot
- A car with a transmission/differential combination better suited for long distance motoring
- A glove box full of pigs-in-a-blanket (this would be remedied BRIEFLY somewhere in Texas)
Our plan was to head due south from Kansas City to Joplin, MO. If we timed it right we would hit I-44 West in time to hook up with The Tour as it hurtled towards Miami, OK. This part of the trip was fairly uninteresting but important due to the fact that just a week prior, The Judge sat engine-less with no guarantee I’d get it back together and running in time. If the car was going to fail we figured it would do so on the way to Joplin. Happily, it didn’t. Oil pressure and coolant temperature looked good and the RA IV felt strong. The tires were new, the brakes were good and the car tracked right. We made it to Joplin without a hitch.
This is what a ’69 Pontiac RAIV 400 looks like when it should really be in a car by now. That cup of beer is not factory original and has nothing to do with the delay.
Somewhere between Ft. Scott and Joplin Jim and I made a modest wager on the make and model of the first Power Tour car we would see. I chose a 55-57 Chevy of any configuration and Jim went with a late-model Dodge Challenger. Technically, I won the bet when in the opposite lanes we spotted a sweet ’56 Nomad dressed in turquoise and white and pulling a cool little trailer, also turquoise. But by the time I got my eyes on the the road again, and before I had the chance to ridicule Jim on his loss, a big, purple Twenty-something Dodge Challenger merged right in front of us. I am not shitting you. We called it a draw and left it at that. We would see lots of cool shoe box Chevys over the next few days and many, many, many new Challengers.
At some point Jim declared (Jim tends tio declare) we’d be eating lunch at Lumpy’s BBQ, in Joplin. According to the internet, it’s the best BBQ in the region. Jim executed his navigator duties flawlessly and suddenly it was time to eat. Upon entering, the first thing we noticed was the complete lack of diners. This didn’t seem like a good sign. Sure, we arrived after the lunch rush, but not by much. Undaunted, we consulted with the waitress and determined ribs were the way to go. I backed mine up with tater salad, fries and a Coke. Jim opted for baked beans, fries and iced tea. As usual, the internet was right and we had an awesome lunch.
Next time you find yourself near Joplin and you get a hankering for BBQ, we suggest you pay Lumpy a visit.
We would roll into Miami, OK mid afternoon and seemingly mid pack. We rumbled through a toll booth without paying* and made our way to the Buffalo Run Casino. In a few minutes we would check in and my Power Tour cherry would officially be popped. And a few minutes after that, Jim and I would already be ruminating over the desired attributes of our next Power Tour ride.
Credentials in hand and a sweet lanyard around my neck mark the official beginning to my 2012 Power Tour!
Okay, we’re here. Now what? Obviously, the best way to punctuate a long day of driving is to wander around a hot parking lot for a couple hours looking at cars. The sheer volume was fairly mind boggling. Take your typical local cruise night and multiply it by one hundred and you might be close. There was really no way to see everything so we just picked a direction and started walking. Street rods, muscle cars, rat rods, shitboxes, oddballs, boring new cars, not-so-boring new cars, trucks and a handful difficult to categorize vehicles. Did I mention there were plenty of late model Challengers?
One of the more interesting cars we saw in Miami was this unrestored ’69 Dodge Super Bee. It was in rough condition but there was just something great about it.
The Judge is a rare, valuable car. It’s also pretty damn cool looking in my opinion. At a local cruise it tends to raise eyebrows and get a lot of attention. The massive scale and stunning array of cars at the Power Tour made The Judge and similar cars blend in. It’s hard for a factory equipped car to compete in an environment with so much custom engineering and personal flair on display. This is not a complaint, but an observation. I suppose The Judge may have stood out more had it been orange.
Only time will tell what kind of impact a sky blue Duster with 6.1 Hemi power will make.
While making the rounds we saw some cool stuff, met some nice folks and talked about cars. Now it was time to head back to The Judge, deploy some folding chairs and crack open a couple colds ones. As we sat, The Tour pulsated around us. We’d see the occasional plume of smoke and hear an engine come to life or some tires shrieking from time to time. And we’d talk cars with visitors if The Judge caught their eye. Day one of our tour was winding down and what a great day it was.
Soon we’d head off to the night’s lodgings, The Downstream Casino Resort in Quapaw, OK. It was a nice place where we’d get some good steaks, cold beverages and do some gambling. Somehow I went on to win $1200 playing the slots. Like I said, it was a great day.
Please forgive the drunken, giddy look on my face. You see, I was drunk and giddy.
In the morning we would set a course for Stillwater, OK. On the way we would encounter monster potatoes, battle a malfunctioning latch mechanism and drive on a road built with prison labor.
*So did everybody else. It seemed the authorities didn’t want a mile-long string of cars waiting on I-44 and waved everybody through the toll booth.